Good bye organ, I hardly knew ye
I had to be up bright and early to be at the hospital by 6am. This kind of sucked since I had little to no sleep that night, not sure why it was just not happening. So being up that early was not a problem.
My dad and I arrived at the Harrisburg Hospital at 545am and I was checking in shortly after that. They took us into one of their staging areas in order to prepare for the procedure. I had to remove my clothes and put on a stupid gown that let the world see my ass. The thing was I had to do this in front of my dad, so I had to maneuver in such a way that I did not flash my dad my wang. At 23 I am not comfortable exposing my hairy nude self to either of my parents. After that a nurse came and reconfirmed my ID and what I was there for. There were various other questions asked of me while blood was taken out of one arm and an IV put in the other. When all this prep work was done, it was only 645am. The nurse informed me that now I had to wait until 8am for my operation.
That was the slowest hour and 15 minutes ever. I did not have my contacts in so everything was a little hazy. I could see nurses and doctors walking around talking to other patients while the time crawled by. At one point my dad asked me if any of the doctor’s were mine. To this I replied that I can only see general shapes of people so I have no idea if he was there yet. He eventually did get there and told me that I was the first on the list so I would get underway at 8am.
Thank god some nurse asked if I had to pee before the operation, otherwise I would have had to get a catheter. They escorted my dad back to the waiting room and wheeled me off to the OR. There they strapped these pads on my legs to prevent blood clots. They were like blood pressure straps that would automatically inflate and deflate. They also untied my barely there gown and moved me to the table. I had to lay my arms out like I was being crucified. I wonder if anyone made and Jesus jokes at my expense. First I felt swimmy and then they had me start counting. 1….2…3… and I was gone.
I woke up with pain and oxygen in my nose. I was in recovery for about an hour. I was sleepy so I kept setting off the respiratory alarm because I was not breathing deep enough. The nurse had to keep coming over to tell me to breathe deeper. I also developed a cough which sucked because that area hurt already so muscle contraction in my abdominal area was not fun. I was coughing so much that the nurse asked me if I was a smoker.
After that I was moved onto Dismissal where I was until about 130pm. This is where my dad was able to come back and sit with me until I was well enough to walk under my own power. I got a drink of soda and that helped my cough immensely. I was also introduced to my new friend Percocet. After about and hour of laying there and the pain only mildly subsiding I decided it was time to leave so I tried to get up to which a nurse saw and came to assist me. We walked to the nurse’s desk and back to my bed. That was enough for her and she filled out the discharge papers while my dad went to get the car. Before he left again I had to play dodge the wang again while I got dressed. They wheeled me out to him waiting in the car and I came home.
I have been taking pain meds and naps ever since. Eventually I will get to see Star Wars. I think by this weekend I should be able to sit in a seat for more that 2hrs.
It was not until I got home did I notice that I had been shaved.
t-minus 4
My dad and I arrived at the Harrisburg Hospital at 545am and I was checking in shortly after that. They took us into one of their staging areas in order to prepare for the procedure. I had to remove my clothes and put on a stupid gown that let the world see my ass. The thing was I had to do this in front of my dad, so I had to maneuver in such a way that I did not flash my dad my wang. At 23 I am not comfortable exposing my hairy nude self to either of my parents. After that a nurse came and reconfirmed my ID and what I was there for. There were various other questions asked of me while blood was taken out of one arm and an IV put in the other. When all this prep work was done, it was only 645am. The nurse informed me that now I had to wait until 8am for my operation.
That was the slowest hour and 15 minutes ever. I did not have my contacts in so everything was a little hazy. I could see nurses and doctors walking around talking to other patients while the time crawled by. At one point my dad asked me if any of the doctor’s were mine. To this I replied that I can only see general shapes of people so I have no idea if he was there yet. He eventually did get there and told me that I was the first on the list so I would get underway at 8am.
Thank god some nurse asked if I had to pee before the operation, otherwise I would have had to get a catheter. They escorted my dad back to the waiting room and wheeled me off to the OR. There they strapped these pads on my legs to prevent blood clots. They were like blood pressure straps that would automatically inflate and deflate. They also untied my barely there gown and moved me to the table. I had to lay my arms out like I was being crucified. I wonder if anyone made and Jesus jokes at my expense. First I felt swimmy and then they had me start counting. 1….2…3… and I was gone.
I woke up with pain and oxygen in my nose. I was in recovery for about an hour. I was sleepy so I kept setting off the respiratory alarm because I was not breathing deep enough. The nurse had to keep coming over to tell me to breathe deeper. I also developed a cough which sucked because that area hurt already so muscle contraction in my abdominal area was not fun. I was coughing so much that the nurse asked me if I was a smoker.
After that I was moved onto Dismissal where I was until about 130pm. This is where my dad was able to come back and sit with me until I was well enough to walk under my own power. I got a drink of soda and that helped my cough immensely. I was also introduced to my new friend Percocet. After about and hour of laying there and the pain only mildly subsiding I decided it was time to leave so I tried to get up to which a nurse saw and came to assist me. We walked to the nurse’s desk and back to my bed. That was enough for her and she filled out the discharge papers while my dad went to get the car. Before he left again I had to play dodge the wang again while I got dressed. They wheeled me out to him waiting in the car and I came home.
I have been taking pain meds and naps ever since. Eventually I will get to see Star Wars. I think by this weekend I should be able to sit in a seat for more that 2hrs.
It was not until I got home did I notice that I had been shaved.
t-minus 4
posted by K-Dawg at 4:02 PM
2 Comments:
That is the best finishing line ever.
i was really out of it at the time
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