My horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

I started off my Saturday waking up at 2pm which is not odd since it is my only day of the week I get to sleep in. Too late for lunch so I would have to wait until dinner to eat, again nothing new. As I lay there pondering things I struck upon the notion that I had a lost pair of shorts and I wanted to wear them. I started looking under my bed. And what do you know there they were crammed in the far back. I patted myself on the back for a mission accomplished under 5 minutes. As I went to climb back in bed to watch tv I saw a little wiggly thing on the carpet. I got closer and saw that it was indeed alive and that it was not alone. So many thoughts ran through my head I can't even begin to put them into words. So I started scouting the house as to where I could put all my stuff because I know my room had to be emptied.

As I was walking through the kitchen, I snagged my pants on a cabinet handle and damn near ripped the pocket off. I thought to myself, "Well that's just fuckin' great." I continued on my search. I ended up locating a sweet piece of real estate out on the porch. So the exodus began.

Time passed and dinner finally came. I eat more than I should have after starving most of the day. Not too long afterward I realized how true my previous statement was. I can't really explain it but I had a bad feeling in my nether region and I felt like I was going to shit my pants. I took it easy for the next 2 hrs as waves of pain struck my colon. After multiple attempts to relieve the pressure, nothing seemed to want to abandon ship.

Okay so that was over and I had to leave my room for something. I gentle laid my hand on the dresser to get by my mount of crap in my room partially blocking the door when gravity threw it's hat in the ring. My dresser had and uneven weight distribution and my hand broke the camel's back. The whole thing leaned toward me and everything on top started to slide in my direction. Panicing, I dove in front and buttressed it so I could save all my electronic I keep on top of it. I managed to prevent this cascade but I quickly realized I was now stuck there and had to bend over very cautiously to unload the weight that was skewing the balance. Seriously, if it had fallen on me, I would have been really hurt, maybe even death.

I was able to get most of the small shit out of my room and then had to get on my hand and knees and vaccuum the whole floor. I inspected every inch so as to no miss and any of those little buggers. I hope I didn't but I am not done yet so we will see. As of this moment, I have a huge pile of stuff outside wrapped up in a large blue tarp.

After a little investigation I have come to the conclusion that they are carpet beetles in their larval form. And all this came about because I wanted a particular pair of pants.

My sister has been looking in my room through out the day to determine how much her room is at risk. She is expecting to see my floor just covered in writhing little bodies.