conversations

Let me give you a little peek into the things I tend to hear in my daily routine. It is really getting harder and harder to keep a straight face when talking to some people.

One day at lunch, we talked for a few minutes about the one guy's wife's recently broken foot.

Me: Yeah, once the muscle atrophies, it will slide right in.
Guy 1: I don’t even know what that means, what did say, apostrophe?
Me: * uncontrollable laughter* No, atrophy.
Guy 1: A trophy?
Guy 2: Not a trophy, atrophy.
Me: Did you really just say apostrophe? * start laughing again*

As I walked into the morning meeting, I was greeted with:

Guy 1: Hey it’s Mister Salmon. (making a reference to the color of my shirt which was in reality more red-orange)
Me: What the hell kind of salmon do you eat?
Girl 1: Yeah Mr. Blue, Mr. Blue Green (he having a blue shirt and the last name of Green)
Guy 1: Wouldn’t that be Mr. Yellow? Green and blue make yellow.
Me: (I look at him in all seriousness) You’re retarded.
Guy 1: Well that is besides the point.
Guy 2: Green and blue make brown right?
Me: No, they don’t.
Guy 2: Well it’s at least a dark color.
Girl 1: Green and blue make purple.
Me: No, that would be red and blue.
Girl1: Oh yeah, your right.Me: Apparently no one here knows how to mix colors.
Guy 1: Wait yellow is a primary, oh I get it now.
Girl 1: I tried to make black food coloring so I could make some bats, I ended up with brown.
Guy 1: They make black coloring you know.
Girl 1: I did not feel like going to buy some.
Guy 1: Well then I guess it is some new kind of bat, a brown pygmy bat.
Me: Pygmy?
Girl 1: Yeah that would make it white.
Me: No that is albino.

Having a conversation with a 7 year old.

K: When you put this dress on her it looks like she has junk in the trunk. (referring to a Happy meal toy)
Me: What does that mean?
K: That it is full of sweets.
Me: *laugh*
K: Or it really big.
Me: *laughs harder* There's an 'OR' HAHAHAHAHAAA