Sacreligious

I was watching tv and saw this commercial for a new movie that is coming out straight to DVD. I could not believe what I was seeing and you will prolly not believe what I am repeating but they are releasing "The Sandlot 2". This is wrong on so many levels. Even though it appears to be from the same director and writes it is still wrong. There is no need for this film to exist. The first is a classic and a sequel was not necessary. Actually I think it is more of a retelling with different people in a different place but still god damn it. Now I'm not saying I would not watch it, but I have very low expectations going in so I can not complain about wasting my time later.

Chair reconstruction

Starting with the chair i bought ever so long ago, I first took it apart and then put it back together in a different configuration.

ORIGINAL



Which resulted in the following object. I kind of liked it as it was. But is had to be painted using the color pallette of a famous painting.

PREPAINT



All I could think was to paint it blue/green. With luck I was able to find a painting by Salvador Dali called "Giraffe on Fire" that seemed to fit my need. I also think it is funny that during the reconstruction phase, the chair looked like a giraffe for a while until it broke and became unfixable.

"Giraffe on Fire"



That resulted in the following. I took the easy way out by spray painting it, so the colors are not exactly what they should be. I am not happy with it but I am not going to but anymore time into it's paint job.

PAINTED



After some thought, I have had the growing urge to burn it. Light that fucker up and see what happens. I'll have to takes pictures of it if I do. I think it would be cool. Come to think about it that goes with that giraffe on fire theme once again.

Lobster Phone

Seeing Dali in person this last Sunday was hella cool. There were somewhere between 100 to 200 pieces on display. Would have been better if there had been less people to bump into but otherwise it was awesome and look forward to viewing other artists collections in the future.

This was also my first trip to the Philadelphia Museum of Art. This place was much bigger than I had previously thought. Definately a day trip kind of place. Or a walk til you can walk no more and collapse on one of the ropped off couches kind of place. I'm sure the secret security that is posted in almost every room would not appreciate that.

Amusing moments:

-While waiting in line to get in the musuem the was a guy behind us that proclaimed that Dali was too gimmicky. Makes me wonder then why the hell he came to see him in the first place.

-Witnessing a blonde girl not once but twice obstruct phaedre's view of something she was looking at. By obstruct I mean actually putting her big head squarely between Phaedre's vision and the object. Phaedre's reaction was priceless and I almost had a ringside seat to a catfight.

-Watching a father explaing to his 4 or 5 year old daughter the significance of the painting "Prometheus Bound". With a line such as, "See honey he is being punished because he was bad. Do you know what he did? He stole fire." I can only imagine how far over the child's head this had to have been.

-Catching phaedre checking out at least one of the several girls that I was scoping while we walked around. Confirming once again that we have similar tastes.


I'll have to make a trip back there at some point to see all the other stuff that is crammed in the bowels of that building.

Dancing Bees

It is not easy to makes bees dance. They have a tendency to fall over into sexual positons. But the Carpenter Bee Kama Sutra is a project for another day. After a little work I managed to get an acceptable picture as shown below. Note the improv dance floor.

yet another test

so i had to go for an ultrasound this morning. they wanted to check my gall bladder for stones. well what do you know they found some, i am really not shocked by this at all.

everytime i go to see one of these doctors they all ask if i have any pain. can they not read on the paper or actually listen to me when i say that that particular pain was isolated to 2 specific days in januaury. no pain since and hopefully not for a very long time.

i got a follow up for my colonoscopy, unless they found something i don;t know about that should be the end of this adventure in medical procedures.

songs stuck in my head this week

Muse - Apocalypse Please
Chemicals Brothers - Galvanize
Daft Punk - Robot Rock
The Bravery - An Honest Mistake

random music video

i was watching tv as usual and came across this music video from a band that i remembered seeing briefly in a magazine about 2 months ago. i stopped just to make sure i had not seen it wrong the first time, but it was true. the lead singer does in fact look like Riff Raff from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. he is not only old but he is balding with long hair on the sides. i was mesmerized by this. it is a heavy metal band so a lot of the lyrics are lost to me but what i did catch was the imagery that flashed by. at first i thought that i was seeing connections that were not there but as the video progressed it became clear that is was a homage to Sam Raimi. there was a lot of objects from Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2. from a chainsaw to zombies to a mounted deer head, even a clock with fast moving hands and of course a cabin in the woods. i could not believe what i was seeing. i enjoyed the thought behind it but did not like the video at all. there was no story, just a bunch of references thrown together that failed to catch the awe of the movie.

the band turned out to be called Strapping Young Lad. i forget the term but it is one of those things that is funny because it is the complete opposite of what it really is.

monkey butt

was the anus a necessary detail to include? i mean really?

"fantastic voyage"

so i went in with a clear bowel no idea what was in store for me. First of all when i went to sign the papers letting them to the procedure i was maked down as F for SEX. the receptionist claimed that the computer did that based on my name. i have never met a girl with my name although I have heard it is possible.

i was then called back into one of the bays they had set up for patients. i was told to strip from the waist down the put on a gown. this gown tied around my neck, so the back was open and flapping in the breeze. the nurse returned and hooked me up to monitors and gave me an IV. she also informed me that they would pump air into me, so that after the procedure was to just let it rip to get it out. "we put it in, you blow it out". she rolled me down the hall into Room 1 where she left me for the next guy.

This room was set up like a small theater. there was a projector that displayed on most on one of the walls. and they has music playing on their computer which i can't rememeber but i thought was amusing at the time. i also noticed the hose with the camera. it had 10cm increments on it. it went from 0cm to 170cm, which i think is around 5ft 8 in. god damn that is a little unsettling.

i received a few injections in to the IV and noticed stuff was melting and moving in the room. it was sooo coool. then they had me roll over in my side and i was out. next thing i knew was i was waking up back in the bay i started in. a little groggy which soon passed. i redressed and was taken to a small room to meet with the doctor.

he told me i did a good job cleaning out, so good in fact he got into the small intestines a little. he said he saw no problems and that the bleeding may have been from an anal fissure that had since healed.

sounds to me that i am free and clear in more ways than one if you catch my drift.

the big day

so since 6pm yesterday, whenever i am awake about every 20 minutes i have to run to the bathroom. i have never had so many close calls before since i was learning not to go in my pants. at this point i can officially say that i have pissed out of my ass, repeatedly. this is not fun, this also better be a once and done deal.

at this point i am not even allowed to drink anything. i am so thristy and hungry right now!

update #2

i'm hungry and i am starting to get a headache because i am not supposed to eat. damn it.

that oral laxitive took over an hour to do anything. not that i was looking forward to the eruption mind you.

update #1

this prolly would be #2 if i had not waited to write the previous entry. anyway, I had to drink the phospho-soda which is a saline oral laxitive. I don;t think i have tasted anything that salty before. I even mixed it with ginger ale but it did not help much. this stuff is supposed to work fast, i guess i will see.

i have to say the only part of this that i don't need is my parents being informed of the present state of my bowel movements. My mom said to me, "When this kicks off, make sure you close the door and turn on the fan." kickoff? like it is some game to be bet upon. some kind of spectator sport. closed door and fan? that is only common courdesy. damn it just let me go when i have to go. don't talk about it, we all know i got shit flying out of my ass, that does not mean we have to sit and discuss it.

TMI

This morning i woke up and remembered that today was the day before the day i was hoping never to have to have. Today's activities consisted of a liquid diet only. Clear liquids, i'm not sure what those are. Whether they are particle free or actually transparent i could not decide so i went with water.

This morning i took 3 Dulcolax. it says that they take 6 to 12 hrs to work. and i have to say a little over 6 hrs later and i felt an assplosion coming on. I relieved this pressure only to be greeted again about 15 minutes later.

I don't know about anyone else but sometimes I get that feeling that a pit stop on the porcelian throne would be a very good idea in the next oh say 2 minutes. I never look forward to the performance, who would. But to induce this action, to voluntarily make it happen. What the hell? From what had come out of me so far, it continued to get souper. Started kind of like a stew and is heading towards a broth, the stage of sauce was prolly in there, I did not look to close.

Odd game of sorts

I came across this odd game where you have to help a packing peanut escape from what I am guessing is a packing factory. It's not very long but I just could not get over the idea that someone decided to make a video game with a styro-foam peanut as the protaginst. Packing Peanut Game

copyright infringment

ok so i was told that the image i used in the artwork from the previous post was probably copyrighted and was pretty recognizable from the orginal. the lady went on to tell me that if it was my own work that i had used i would be able to use it in a porfolio, but as it is now i can not. how stupid does she think i am. i'm not retarded. never did i deny that it wasn't completely my own work. all the colors and maniplulation was mine but the statue used for the guys was not. i never intended to pass it off as my own. i knew that i could not use it for anything outside of the purpose it was created for. it irritates me when people underestimate my intelligence.

naming art

i have never been good at naming my art. prolly cuz i rarely have a purpose when i start. i just work and let my fingers to the talking. like an idiot savant, masterpieces roll from my tips onto paper and into space. the drawback comes when my work is finished their job is done. it's all on me to interpret what i made. i came up against this obstacle again today. in order to enter my work in a show it need a title. the piece had a working title of Giger Dudes. i was not going to use that since i did not want to use the artist's name from which the statue came from. with the help of another guy, we settle on something militaryesque. then it happened. something i thought never would. a name come to mind that fit the artwork but i was slightly hesitant to use.

the name came from the movie The Lost Boys. if you have not figured it out yet i named it after the on screen duo of the Coreys. Feldman and Haim, the Frog Brothers. the more i thought about it, Frog Brothers, the more it seemed to fit. i prolly could have came up wit something more witty if i had more time, but this will do.

avengers assemble

With all the deaths lately, it would seem that "God" is calling in markers to assemble a team of people each with their own unique talents whose combine might is the only thing that can stop some impending doom. Like "he" is assembling his own League of Extraordinay Gentlemen or "he" is playing Charlie and collecting his angels or even gathering people for a celestrial MISSION:IMPOSSIBLE. I don't know what all these people have to offer, but here is the list of names and possible abilites, nevermind the spelling. If I forgot anyone let me know.

1)Johnnie Cochran - legal assistance, rhyming quips

2)Terry Shiavo - staring contest, silent but deadly assassin

3)Frank Perdue - distribution of chicken, trained attack poultry

4)Mitch Hedberg - comedian, every team needs one and he can get dizzy chicken from Frank

5)Pope John Paul II - possible leader, mystical arts specialist

Perhaps, "Satan" is assembling an group too. This may change the line up listed above, due to the fact that they may not all be on the same side of the line in the sand. This is a secret war that is all goes well none of us will know about until the time comes for more souls to be harvested.

Mitch Hedberg Rules

I'm still confused by this. His family has posted a letter on his website but his future shows are still listed. I guess they have not gotten to it yet.

Very Sad News if it is True

So I came across a post on SE claiming that the beloved Mitch Hedberg was dead. I would hate to think this is true but I have not seen anything to prove it otherwise. This could of course be an April Fool's prank, which I ain't laughin about. Or this could be a stunt the likes of which many Andy Kaufman fans thought he played when he died of cancer.

Many sites have confirmed it as true but like I said it could be a trick on everyone. Had this not happened around April Fool's I prolly would not question it and mourn the lose of yet another comedian that throughly enjoyed listening to and impersonating on a near daily business. Honestly, after listening to a few of his sets, I can't help but talk like him for days afterward.

Like I said I don't know if it is true or not but it would be a damn shame if it is.

Some links:
Comedy Central
VH-1
Yahoo


1968-2005